Cupcakes

One thing I really enjoy are Cupcakes. They seriously make any day better. My favorite place in the whole world {besides Disneyland} is Sweet Tooth Fairy. They have the prettiest cupcakes and the nicest girls that work there. I always feel like home when I walk into the vanilla-frosting aroma. Yum!

This is the Classic Red Velvet Cupcake. yum.

It's time

My life lately has taken a turn that has changed everything. Not only have I been struggling with sorting out things that have happened in my family, but my poor body is struggling to keep up. I've been to doctor after doctor since my last semester in college trying to figure out what is wrong. After tons of blood tests we found out I have problems with my Thyroid which causes exhaustion, depression, weight gain, etc. Which is fine. A small pill daily fixes this for most people. Which it really did for me. For about a year. Looking back on it now, I was feeling really good-exercising everyday, had energy, smiled, enjoyed things...

Then I started feeling crappy again. I adjusted my medications, got on some that made me feel crappier, adjusted again...by now I feel almost toxic with all the crap I've swallowed-all with the hope that it would help me feel better.

Still not feeling great, I heard of a doctor that specialized in thyroid problems and hormone replacement. I heard his office had helped a lot of people, so I made an appointment.

My doctor is the sweetest thing. She explains everything so well and makes me feel like I really will get better.

We switched and added some medications...it's been 3 months and I still feel so crappy. I have no energy. I seriously drag myself to work, come home at 5:00 and get straight into bed. I'm 23 years old! I should have energy to go out and meet people and have fun...but all I do is lay in bed and watch Netflix.

Which is fine every once in a while. But everyday!?--and I don't even have enough energy to go hang out with my friends once a week? It's getting ridiculous. 

I want to feel good. I have so much to do with my life. I have so many dreams that need to come true. 

I deserve to feel good.

I saw on Instagram a few people that, instead of New Years Resolutions, pick a Word of the Year and strive to be/do/expand that word the whole year. I love that idea, so one night I picked up my pen and wrote down a list of words that I would like to become. They were all good: (healthy, happy, joyful, creative, helpful) but one stood out to me-it was my word. It would be hard-especially with how I've been feeling; but life will never be PERFECTly how I dreamed, so I need to be able to enjoy my life in spite of things that happen to me.

In French "enjoy" is "jouir"...take it a step further and make it "jouir de" and it means {enjoy, delight, have a hell of a time}.

I'm trying to {slowly} learn French this year too, so this fit in perfectly with the goals I want to achieve.

There are so many people out there that feel way worse than me and manage to enjoy their life-why shouldn't I be able to?!

I'm sick of waiting to feel better before I do things I've wanted to do my whole life.

 Life is too fragile to not enjoy it. 

I'll still go to the doctor and try to find things to help my body feel better-but my mindset has to change from "endure" to "enjoy". Not necessarily "happy" because to me that means {smiling ear to ear, laughing hysterically, playing games...} aka, exhaustion to me right now.

But to really ENJOY something you are sitting back and looking at the good among the bad. 

It's a slower adjective. A fuller heart. A fuller mind. A fuller life.

That's what I need right now. And what I'll need for the rest of my life. 

I'll start slow, but eventually I know I'll accomplish everything I've ever dreamed.

Guest Posting Tutorial

Hey kids! I'm guest-blogging at My Life, My Love today sharing my Wire Headband Tutorial! 

Kelsie is and AMAZING blogger, wife, designer, photographer, and soon-to-be mama! 

We met in college in the Interior Design program and have been friends ever since! :)

Come on over!

Because

Mental Illnesses are hard.

Because people look at you and can't see anything "wrong" with you, so they assume you're fine.

Because people think you can "just get over it".

Because people don't understand unless they live it too.

Because it's a constant internal "how-come-i'm-not-normal" fight.

Because "to-take or not-to-take" medication.

Because balancing doses of medication is a bitch.

Because it hurts.


But being on the outside looking in is even harder.


Because you don't know what that person is going through.

Because you don't understand.

Because you WANT to understand.

Because you want to make it go away for them.

Because you love them.

Because you can see the difference when they take meds vs. when they don't: and they can't see it.

Because they think they are fine without meds/therapy/help, but you know they're not.

Because it hurts you to see them hurt.


And when you have to deal with both...sometimes it seems like it's impossible to keep going.

Because you can't help them.

Because you can't help yourself.

Because it's in your HEAD.

Because there is no simple fix.

Because you can't just go to a doctor and say "I broke my head, can I have a cast please?" and expect it to heal in 6-8 weeks.

Because you wrestle with your thoughts all. day. long.


But you have to keep going. You just have to. I know it doesn't seem like it-but it will all be worth it. Practice separating sympathy from empathy. You will slip. It will be hard. Go ahead and cry and then get up and try again. One day at a time. One hour at a time. Just keep going.

Find something that makes you smile and build on that. Try to remember that this life is not forever. Try to remember that you are not alone.

Most people have some kind of mental struggle...we just need to be kind to everyone. Extra kind, because you honestly NEVER KNOW what someone is going through. Even if it's not logical, something you say or do could send someone into a downward spiral. Let's be there for each other. We're all here struggling with SOMETHING--let's make life easier for each other, not more difficult. Stay alive. I love you, even if it seems like no one else does. I love you. Stay Strong. We can do this.

Look what I made...

You can find the tutorial HERE...

Happy Christmas

true meaning of Christmas

You know what bothers me?

When people go around saying "Christmas isn't about the gifts or Santa Claus or trees or lights...it's about Jesus's birth!"

Yes, this is the time of year that we celebrate the Savior coming to earth and all the wonderful things He has done for us...I don't disregard that, BUT

Christmas IS about the gifts. The magic of the trees lit up. The mystery of Santa Claus. And there is nothing wrong with that.

x

Our world is so full of hate and disappointments and cruelty>but during the Christmas season everything seems a little brighter, a little happier, a little better.

You spend time thinking of others and what you could do for them. My FAVORITE thing in the world is giving gifts. I spend so much time collecting, wrapping, thinking of what I can give to the people that I love so much. I can show them I love them by giving a little love.

x

I don't care if you give a card that you wrote on a scratch paper or if you decide to buy something you know would make them happy--or anything in between. The point is that you thought of someone else and spent precious time thinking of them and not yourself.

That is why Christmastime is so special to me. It's the magic. It's the thoughtfulness. It's seeing Random Acts of Kindness done by people you would never think had it in their heart. I wish we could have this love all year round--but for now, I'm just glad we have it at all. 

Every time I start thinking about something going on in the world, in my town, even in my home--it all comes down to love. 

And when I think of Love, I think of Jesus, and would Jesus want me to show my love to others? Absolutely. And this time of year that means wishing others Happy Holidays and giving a gift of love.

You don't need to have the stress of spending money. Stress doesn't equal love, so if it's stressful, don't do it. If all you can do this year is give a smile or give the gift of forgiveness or give a hug and an "I love you"--then that is perfect!  

Just don't say you're not going to give anything this year because you are thinking about the "true meaning of Christmas" because if you truly understood what it meant for the world for Jesus to be born, you would give everything you had.

x